1. If you and your partner have more than 2 alcoholic drinks each, don’t be surprised that each of you is likely to hurt the other’s feelings.
2. When you have a partner who is easily hurt, start a possibly problematic comment thoughtfully. For example:
“Please don’t take this the wrong way,….” or
“I’m concerned that you’ll be hurt if I say this, but, I need to tell you that….” or
“Is this a good time to tell you something you might not like to hear?”
3. Loud, angry explosions come from feeling threatened, thwarted and frustrated. They do not come from strength. They’re just adult tantrums. Take a deep breath, and use words that are likely to get you the outcome you hope for.
4. Blaming your partner for the same thing over and over means you are not taking care of yourself . Apparently, what bothers you, doesn’t bother your partner. Therefore, you have to decide what you are going to do to reduce your own unhappiness/discomfort.
5. Three ways of maintaining a healthy and happy relationship:
- Learn how to deal with conflict,
- Have time (undivided attention) for your partner,
- Enhance your relationship by having fun together.
6. Validate your partner
Approve, accept, recognize and acknowledge rather than correcting, denying or disagreeing with.
I’d be happy to help you achieve the outcome(s) you hope to achieve.